by Tahlia Mandie, Director, Direction Exploring

Holidays can be a stressful time. How many times have you thought, “6 weeks with the kids, what are we going to do”, or “How am I going to survive the holidays”, or “the kids will get bored”.

All these thoughts and feelings are normal, common feelings to have. When placed in any challenging situation anxiety will be there – it is normal. Trying to block out this anxiety is not going to get rid of the anxiety; it will only be there ten fold. But it is not only parents that may feel anxious and stressed leading up to and during the holidays. Children can as well. Without the structure of school during the holiday break, kids may feel as though they are not “grounded” and do not have the same support from teachers and friends that are usually involved in their daily routine (Dellz, 2008). During the holidays, children are out of their daily routine.

Routine is exceptionally important for children from as young as when they were babies right into adolescences. For young children, routine helps establish security, peace and a sense of stability in their life, which in turn, helps establish their self-esteem, sense of self and structure within the family. Similarly, routine helps set the stage for the effects of consequences and places children and adolescents in a predictable environment. When not in a predictable environment, with little security, anxiety and stress may eventuate.

Just like when we feel anxious and overwhelmed when we feel we have no sense of stability, predictability and security, children and adolescents feel the same. These are all common and normal emotions. The key is to try and find the best way to help our children cope with these challenging times.

1. Be alert of any changes in behaviour, mood, agitation, frustration, hyperactivity, restlessness and feelings. The sooner you recognize any increased signs of stress and anxiety, the sooner you can assist your child.

 

2. Plan ahead! Research on the internet (Yourkidsed.com.au is a great site!) for any events, holiday planned events, youth events or children play days so you can put this in the diary, inform your kids and begin to establish a sense of security over the holidays.

 

3. Don’t think you have to spend an extravagant amount of money to entertain the kids. There are plenty of FREE events and activities around; Just use your imagination and work with other mums to create ideas.

 

4. Create a daily schedule. Plan a daily schedule with your child and get him/her involved in this activity so they feel they are taking ownership and sense of control. It is just another way of establishing routine and continuity into their lives when the routine of school is not in play.

 

5. Make sure your kids have regular play dates with their friends. It is important that they maintain their friendships and contact over the long summer holiday break.

 

6. Are there school holiday camps your child can attend? Sporting camps, youth camps, community camps; or simply a holiday program that interests your child.

 

7. Take time out for yourself! Don’t forget that the importance of maintaining your health, vitality, and emotional and physical energy during the stressful times.

 

8. Talk to your children about what they are feeling and that it is okay for them to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. They need to be able to vocalize their emotions, helping them gain confidence and security within themselves. “Emotional development involves learning what feelings and emotions are, understanding how and why they happen, recognizing one’s own feelings and those of others, and developing effective ways of managing them” (www.kidsmatter.edu.au).

Just remember, Relax and enjoy the holidays and special time with your kids!!!

 
References:
Dellz, Abbey. Helping ADD children cope during holidays. 2008. Retrieved from http://addadhd.suite101.com/article.cfm/helping_add_children_cope_during_holidays November 2008
Kidsmatter, How children’s emotions develop and change. Retrieved from http://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/emotions-overview_03.pdf November 2008

Image: freedigitalphotos.net

About the author:

Tahlia Mandie is a psychotherapist, family counsellor and mum who runs her own private practice, Direction Exploring and now runs her own blog, The Parenting Files - because families matter. Discussing all things parenting and family matters to the serious stuff to the not so serious stuff, the parenting files is spoken with a little witt, quirk and humour. Tahlia also writes regular columns and articles for magazines, newspapers and other online forums.

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