by Tahlia Mandie, Direction Exploring     It is that time of year again when exam time is fast approaching. You remember like it was only yesterday that your child was starting school, dressed so proudly in their new school uniform. And now, the daunting new era of finishing school and embarking on the next chapter of life is all too close.

Your kids are no longer kids, but young adults. Pressures are high and questions are never ending, and fear, anxiety, and uncertainty is even higher. Preparing for exams can be a stressful process not only for students, but families as well. Their stress is your stress; their pain is your pain; their anxiety is your anxiety. What they feel, parents feel too. 

Not only can the lead up to exams be stressful, but the exam process can similarly be overwhelming. The common “exam block” may seem to be mythical, but in actual fact can be very real for some. Trying to stay focused may seem harder and harder as pressures become higher and higher. The big question of “what is the point” may slowly creep in when things get all too much.

These feelings are normal. These feelings are okay!

Teens need to know that they are embarking on one of the toughest challenges. Strength, persistence and dedication are key too getting through it. But having bad days is normal, and okay.

We all have bad days where we feel like “throwing in the towel”.

So how can you help your teen through this stressful and challenging time? 

Not only are these exams often viewed as the most serious time of a students schooling life, they can also be viewed as the final gateway to post school life and career opportunity. Teens and parents need to remember a few key points to help them through this challenging time:

1. Exams are one piece of the puzzle to life’s journey – too often students can get caught up in the idea that their exam results define their destiny. Help them put things into perspective by reminding them that there are many pathways and destinations that will eventuate after the exams.

2. Help them remember what they are working towards - parents can help their kids refocus on their goals, aspirations and dreams. Having clearly defined goals can help push through those challenging times where giving up seems so easy.

3. Encourage your teen to take time out for themselves - even though time may seem like it is slipping by, taking time to recharge and energise is important for their mind and body. This includes exercise, eating and sleeping well.

As parents, taking care of you is just as important. Too often the focus is placed on everyone else, you are holding every other family members worry and anxiety… Who is holding you? Think about your coping skills, and how you recharge your batteries? By setting good examples you are teaching your kids about positive coping skills of emotions, stress and anxiety. You are their best role model.

This is just one chapter. This is just one life lesson that will come their way.

Emotions are okay. Stress is normal.

Talk about it and normalize it.

Think about goals, dreams and aspirations. This is just one piece to the puzzle.

About the author:

Tahlia Mandie is a psychotherapist, family counsellor and mum who runs her own private practice, Direction Exploring and now runs her own blog, The Parenting Files - because families matter. Discussing all things parenting and family matters to the serious stuff to the not so serious stuff, the parenting files is spoken with a little witt, quirk and humour. Tahlia also writes regular columns and articles for magazines, newspapers and other online forums.

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