by Margaret Sgouros, Ifkids     A student’s well-being, ie, how happy and successful a child is at school is dependant on more than IQ. A happy child usually outperforms a miserable child. Children who are extremely bright academically often do not achieve as well as they should and parents wonder why?

Perhaps a high IQ and a low level of EQ ( is the answer. The difference between a happy child who does well and a child who lacks the effort to try may very well be the lack of EQ – Emotional Intelligence (know-how). Unlike IQ, EQ can be learned through the specific teaching of practical strategies.

Every child would benefit from being taught strategies to help them cope better emotionally and socially, thereby enabling them to boost their confidence and levels of comfort and happiness.

There are four components of Emotional Intelligence that need to be taught to fully develop a child’s ability to function successfully.

Firstly, levels of EQ can affect how a child sees himself/herself personally. The way a child feels, thinks and acts, or reacts to situations is linked to their level of Self Awareness. Their emotions and feelings influence their behaviour, resulting in their levels of self esteem, body image and confidence.

Secondly, Emotional Intelligence can also affect the success or failure a child’s experiences with their friends and other relationships. A lack of EQ can often be described by teachers, when talking to parents about their child, as poor Social Skills. The difficulty some children face in getting along with others and choosing good friends and maintaining healthy relationships is determined by their level of Social Awareness.

Thirdly, how a child completes tasks and manages himself/herself is called Self Management. Often children with low levels of EQ are disorganized, lack careful planning and leave homework, projects etc to the last minute, often losing important marks for adequate research, layout and presentation. They are unaware that they can use certain techniques to help them plan, strive and work towards achieving good marks for their work.

Fourthly, how a child is able to cope with the daily pressures of school life is determined by their level of Adaptability. Perseverance, resilience, flexibility and positive attitudes all play a very important role in how a child adapts to change and loss or grief. Being resilient and able to deal with life’s experiences in a positive way is crucial to student happiness.

Finally, Bullying is of major concern to most parents and children need to be taught additional strategies to deal with both bullying and cyber-bullying in this technological age.

Ten Tips for Raising Emotional Intelligence in Children

You are your child’s first and most important teacher.

1.   Model the appropriate behaviour that you would like your child to learn
2.   Be prepared to talk to your child about his/her feelings and emotions.
3.   Love your child unconditionally, nurture a positive, loving relationship.
4.   Don’t be afraid to set your child boundaries and explain the consequences of breaking the rules
5.   Teach your child to accept ‘No’ as an answer.
6.   Help your child to cope with disappointments, explain that they can’t always have what they want.
7.   Listen to your child when he/she is talking about problems they are having, try to help him/her to be more empathetic by seeing how the friend may have felt in the situation. Discuss ways he/she could have handled the situation differently.
8.   Teach your child to prioritise and to focus on the things that really matter, not just the little things.
9.   Reward hard work and perseverance and encourage your child to be flexible and adapt to situations.
10. Encourage your child to appreciate his/her strengths and talents and to be kind to himself/herself.
 

About the author

Margaret Sgouros, is an experienced classroom teacher. She conducts Ifkids Seminars in Sydney to offer extra support to parents for their Years 5 - 7 Children children. The Seminars take place on selected Sundays and/or during the school holidays.. For more information on Ifkids Seminars, visit www.ifkids.com.au

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